Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Put Aside Funny for Fuzzy
Do you know what sadness is? I am talking about the kind that you carry on your shoulders like a weight. A type of deep penetrating sorrow that actually changes the color of your brown eyes to "blue," (of course). This emotion awakens you in the middle of the night with a cold rush of air to remind you that even sleep is no longer yours to enjoy. It is the continuous falling sensation you have in your nightmares, and the overwhelming panic you feel in the darkness of a back alley. It is the constant, unwavering gloom that holds you hostage, and requires a ransom that you know might not be paid. Is this merely an academic discussion for you? Can you really relate to this kind of torment? Is your sympathy genuine? If you are unable to get it because life has not dealt you this kind of somber existence, consider yourself fortunate, blessed, and perhaps, content. When you look at me, and see a fallen countenance, it is a momentary lapse of control on my part. I will collect my thoughts, stiffen my upper lip, and press on. If you inquire of my quietness, I will snap out of it and roll with the punches. If you look at me and notice that I'm somewhere else, I will carry on and rise above it. So this cross that I must bear, I place in a secret compartment, in a hidden nook in order to blend with my surroundings. This chameleon adapts displaying a cheerful coat, and no one is the wiser. Except for you...a fellow chameleon , versatile, playing to your audience, can you read me? Do you have a sense of who I am? Do you see me? Or am I fuzzy to you?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Fellow chameleon, have you counted the cost of changing forms? Have you changed so much that you've lost track of who you truely are? Does God still know you or have you adapted to your surroundings so well to hide your pain or should I say run away from it that He who truly Loves ypou will pass you by because you blend in with the rest? Sure a chameleon looks safe, but is she actually no different then the two faced clown that has become so confused it doesent even see the crowd and the joy of performing has become a chore. My fellow chameleon, when you're done hiding you will find your true peace comes in the Light, but somehow I think you already know this.
"Secrets to walking on Water"
Your writing is pretty dark and yes I get you loud and clear. I am never fooled by your changing tones, because I see them changing to adapt or conceal what your truley feeling in your heart. I guess that's why God judges the heart. It is there that we can never hide. God can see us as naked. It's as if we are all in the Garden of Eden all over again. We are trying to cover ourselves and hide from God. All the while he waits to have communion with us. The problem is we are always trying to control our situation, our moods, our circumstance. Thank God I no longer have to change. Everything is exposed by the light.
I just have to except my situation. I just have to accept His will. Peter did not start sinking until he took his eyes off Jesus.
Perhaps the great debate is still under way, God and I have a lot of issues to discuss, fight about, and arm wrestle over. I will keep you posted.
Post a Comment