Don't Pass Go...Don't Collect Your $200

Have you heard, we are becoming a socialized country? I knew hanging out with Canada was going to be a bad influence on us. The government owns the banks; they got the automotive industry, and if they can just hold out a little longer, I'm quite certain health care will be theirs. It's like we are playing monopoly, and the government is winning. When did bailing out mismanaged companies become a branch of government? I hate to hear that people will lose their jobs, their homes, or their buying power but let's get real, this economic topsy turvy didn't just happen over the past year. I remember getting the unrelenting phone calls about refinancing my house. The bait was to use the extra cash to indulge in something I knew I couldn't afford at the moment, and preying on every Americans' "instant gratification" weakness, it sounded like a "win, win." I get money for pretty things now, and later I will cry the blues into my scotch, the cheap kind, no blue label for me. It sounded like a good idea at the time. However, the fine print (excuse my language) bitch slapped us, and we were stunned by the interest rate. How did I agree to an adjustable loan? There must be a mistake? The pretty things, we were convinced were worth the debt, became dull and uninteresting. We couldn't reconcile our salary with our ballooned mortgage. So we picked ourselves up, and ran away. The banks got us into this now; they have to pay. See, the banks don't want your house, they want your money. The car manufacturers don't want to employ the "hard-working" American, they want your money. I can't say it...oh yes I can, health care wants money too, and to help sick people. If they can't get it from us, they go to the government. One wave of Congress' magic wand, and poof...problem temporarily solved. There must be a national treasure somewhere; there has to be. We just need to put Nicolas Cage on the case. Being socialized isn't that bad...wait a minute, are our taxes going to be raised?